Why do we like Twilight?

"Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."

I read a recent blog in the Deseret News that tried to explain why so many people love Twilight. Its interesting that the novel is young adult fiction novel but so many grown women love it. Here is what she wrote:

"But not all women are crazed fans. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to say that most women feel like I do -- we hate that we love "Twilight."

We hate that we occasionally identify with clueless Bella. And most of all, we hate that Edward got us. We like to think that we are too mature to get sucked in by the cliche of a hot vampire. But it gets me. And while the sexual tension is thick, that's not what really gets most women.

Here's my theory: women can't help falling in love with the bad guy who is willing to give it all up for the woman he loves. Women are suckers for that streak of danger in a man who will put aside his naturally devilish desires to be with the women he just can't get enough of. Throw in a little protective nature and a hot body and you've got a recipe to make every housewife in America swoon -- right alongside her teenage daughter."

My old professor at BYU has a blog for The Mormon Times and he mentioned how so many news agencies have written about the Mormon themes in Twilight:

A writer at USC's Media and Religion Blog, Jennifer Hahn, says journalists have missed the spiritual undertones of the "Twilight" series and encourages them to mine the spiritual and Mormon themes in Meyer's work. She writes: "Seen in this light, the 'Twilight' phenomenon is fueled not (just) by teen hormones and melodrama, but also by spiritual longing. While it is no doubt true that many 'Twilight' fans are active in traditional religious settings, an increasing number of spiritual-but-not-religious Americans feel that traditional religious organizations are failing to satisfy their spiritual needs. If this trend continues, we will likely see more pop culture offerings that address spiritual needs through supernatural storytelling."

Ironically, some journalists and bloggers continue to suggest that "Twilight" is veiled Mormon propaganda, but I can't help but agree with a column from the Scottish Sunday Express. "The books have been criticized for being veiled propaganda for beliefs held by the Mormon church. The central characters must remain chaste because losing control could have fatal consequences. Yet it's an odd world we live in where chastity is seen as the grounds for reproach."

Twilight Just an Abusive Relationship?

According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.

Does your partner: Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.

Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."

Make all of the decisions?
Check.

Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."

Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."

Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.

Has your partner... Tried to isolate you from family or friends.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!

Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Check.

Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?

Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."

Scared you by driving recklessly.
Check.

Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.

Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.

Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Check, wolf-boy.

Facebook Status No-no's

1. Don't Post about your kids "poops" "blowouts," vomiting or other bodily functions.

"I survived John's first major blowout. That was intense. And a mess."

"Good thing for daddy who can catch throw up in his hands and then love a baby to sleep."

I know I'm not a Mom yet, and I might understand someday, but still .... its gross. What if I checked Facebook right before dinner? Really does all of Facebook have to know?

2. Don't post about how sore you are and how many millions of miles you ran.

"Just got back from a 10 mile bike ride ... and I have to say I enjoyed every min of it"

"Day 1 and 2 down ... 88 to go ... I better be able to jump over a building while sporting an 8 pack when I'm done!"

It just seems too egotistical. I don't post when I decided not to eat chocolate cake or about how I am tan after a day at the pool and the same principle applies. What is the point except for tooting your own horn?

3. Don't post your undying love for your spouse publicly.

"Happy Birthday to the best husband ever!! I LOVE love LOVE you so much!! Thanks for always being there for me and for loving me. You are my bestest friend!"

I think about the talk by Elder Bednar: "Sometimes in a sacrament meeting talk or testimony, we hear a statement like this: 'I know I do not tell my spouse often enough how much I love her. Today I want her, my children, and all of you to know that I love her.'

Such an expression of love may be appropriate. But when I hear a statement like this, I squirm and silently exclaim that the spouse and children should not be hearing this apparently rare and private communication in public at church! Hopefully the children hear love expressed and see love demonstrated between their parents in the regular routine of daily living. If, however, the public statement of love at church is a bit surprising to the spouse or the children, then indeed there is a need to be more diligent and concerned at home."

4. Don't post completely abstract things.

"I'll walk across the landscape into another world, strange to me, new to me, and yet ... familiar in so many ways."

"I kept my secret because I was afraid. Now I'm only afraid that it's too late."

Are you just trying to get comments? Are you really trying to deeply express yourself in a Facebook status? I don't get it.

p.s. I may have gotten a little caught up in being annoyed in this post. My apologies.

The Way We See Ourselves

"My teacher says real beauty is on the inside."

"That's just something ugly people say."

- Liar, Liar

On one hand I know the church teaches that we need to focus on inner beauty and be happy with who we are, but we are also commanded to obey the Word of Wisdom which not only tells us to obtain from harmful substances, but eat healthy and get enough sleep. Sometimes I feel conflicted with these two ideas.

Whenever I am dieting and trying to lose weight I feel myself also focusing more on how I look and being more shallow. I notice all my imperfections and sometimes I give up because I feel that I will never have the body I want and it's not worth it to work so hard.

We should always be striving to improve ourselves and be healthy, but where is the line with being happy with who you are?

As Mormons we abstain from so many things and I feel I am constantly bombarded with choices. Scriptures or TV. Journal or a movie. For the most part I feel I make really good choices when it comes to being righteous, but sometimes I feel that treats are the one thing I can give in and have that won't effect my spirituality. Sometimes it serves as a release. I know this is a bad way to view food and it shouldn't be an emotional release, but I wonder how many of us have this same train of thought. There are a lot of overweight Mormons and I wonder if this is one of the reasons. We also don't go out drinking or partying so we go out to dessert instead.

I went on LDS.org to try and look up some talks that might deal with this and I did find one talk I thought was interesting. It talked about how we use desserts as a reward (if you finish your chores we will go out for ice cream) or a punishment (finish your broccoli or you don't get pie) and how we need to take the emotion out of eating. I was definitely raised this way and I think it has effected me more than I know. When I have a bad day or if I am bored I turn to food.

Maybe I am thinking about this completely wrong and if we have a good self image and are living righteously then maybe we will automatically eat healthier. I often think of what President Packer said, "I have long believed that the study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than talking about behavior will improve behavior."

Doughnut Nazi!

So, I'm having a kind of bad day, and I am running from one thing to another and I look down and realize that my gas light is on. With my job I hardly ever have time for lunch, and usually bring a yogurt, apples or cereal from home (don't worry I get made fun of for the cereal, especially when I pour it and the whole office can hear not to mention the wonderful crunching of Oh's, yumm).

But alas, today I had brought no yogurt or apples, or cereal, so as I was filling up my gas I went into the gas station to grab something cause I was STARVING. Bad idea. Basically the choices were a gross soggy chicken salad sandwich, burritos sure to make you sick the rest of the day, and then a hole bunch of junk food.

Just as I am thinking, why in the world did I think I could find any sort of a lunch at a gas station, I see them, glimmering by the check-out counter. That's right, Krispy Kreme doughnuts. But then I thought, I shouldn't get a doughnut, so instead I went over and found a granola bar. But then the doughnuts beckoned once again and I gave in.

Junk food is one thing, but baked goods are quite another. So I go over and as I put down the doughnut to check out, the skinny middle-aged gas station attendant says, "doughnut huh?" in a tone. I reply casually, yeah, couldn't find much else, laughing it off. Then as I put down the granola bar he says, "well, at least you got something healthy."

Are you kidding me? The gas station attendant is giving me crap about getting a doughnut? What is the world coming to? I can get a freaking doughnut if I want to, and I should be able to do it without being judged. The fat kid strikes again. Besides, I'm sure one doughnut is not the worst purchase he has seen that day, does he give attitude to everyone buying junk food. If so it must be a long day. If you don't know what a fat kid is, click here to read a past blog explaining it.

Babies

What is it about our faith that makes people think they should know everything about everyone else's lives? I have been in situations where people completely over-share or ask me about things that are really pretty personal.

I think the worst over-share has to be when Mike's cousin told me that she wanted to nurse longer but that her son's teeth cam in and it started to hurt. Ewww! I know you are just loving the mental picture of that one.

So Mike and I have been married for almost three years and I just have to rant a little about how much people ask us when we are having kids. Our families tease us a little bit, which is fine. But I really can't believe those people who basically ask/tease you while in the line at your wedding! Our home teachers came over the other day and I seriously felt like it was a PPI. They asked us when we were having kids - straight faced, no smiles or teasing. Umm ... that is between me, Mike and the Lord. Then one of the laurels I teach asked me in front of a bunch of people and leaders the other day. At least she was teasing a little.

Seriously, what do people want you to say? If I were trying then it would ruin the announcement when I really was pregnant (which I guess most people do). If we were trying and things weren't working out, that is none of their business. And if that was the case it would make me feel really bad. The other answer is of course, that we are just not ready yet, which is the answer in our case.

I also feel that a lot of people are judging us when they ask how long we have been married and know that we don't have kids yet. They have no idea what could be going on in our lives. I think I get that vibe a lot too because we bought a fairly nice house. I feel like people think we are putting finances before kids.

It isn't finances, it isn't my career, it isn't like we don't know how important it is to start a family, we are just not emotionally ready. I have seen several of my friends who have pushed their husbands into having kids sooner than he wanted and it ended up being a huge stress on their marriage. The husband isn't as involved in the care of the baby as he might have been if he was excited to have a child rather than pushed. In one case the wife promised to do everything with the baby so it wouldn't interfere with the husbands life, if she could have a baby sooner. That isn't the way that I want to have my first kid. I want Mike to be excited.

I also want to be really excited. I feel like I go through week period where I want kids and then don't. If I have spent time with my niece or other cute kids have been around I want kids more. But then when the crying tantrum kids/babies are around I think, how can I be ready for this? I think with my own baby I will love it so much that I won't be as affected by the crying, but still I have times where I get scared.

Bikinis and Modesty

I wanted to comment on a post that I ran across the other day on the topic of weather or not women should be able to wear a bikini on vacation with their husbands. I really think this depends on the situation. On my honeymoon I wore bikinis, but we were also on secluded beaches and in one hotel we even had our own little private pool. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to have a few people see me in a bikini, but I think it was a fun thing for my husband on our honeymoon. I feel that if it is a vacation that is just with your husband at a secluded pool or beach it should be okay. Also if my husband and I ever hot tub alone I wear a bikini. I also lay-out in a fenced yard in a bikini in summer. I think it is a hard line though. Because I want to look tan and sexy for my husband, but not for anyone else. And to those who may feel my husband would love me more if I would wear a tankini and show that I have standards, even when we are alone, are just naive. Why do you think women, even Mormon women buy lingerie? Even if the men in our lives view us as sweet spirits, they also want to view us as their sexy wives too.

On the other hand, on any family vacation or vacation with friends, or when I am boating or swimming with others I don't think it is okay to wear a bikini. I wouldn't want my husband to be looking at other girls in bikinis, or other husbands looking at me. And in some cases it can make you feel bad about yourself if the girl next to you is in a skimpy bikini. I think we as women underestimate how much being immodest influences the men around us.

Random Why's

• Why does the toilet-paper holder in public bathrooms always get stuck and only give you two squares at a time?
• Why do the Cafe Rio employees ask you what you want on your meal like a drill Sargent, don't they know I can't make food decisions that fast?
• Why do I say that I don't need help from a stranger moving a huge box out of my car when I really do?
• Why are the little drape things over windows called window treatments? That sounds so weird.
• Why do people think it's okay to talk on a cell phone in a bathroom stall?
• Why would anyone want their death advertised on a billboard?
• Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Diet Coke

A few people in my life drink a lot of Diet Coke. I know that nothing has officially been said against caffeinated drinks, and I think they are probably fine every once and a while, but if you say things like "I need a Diet Coke" or drink them before lunch, I think that is really against the Word of Wisdom. We have been told to abstain from tea or coffee. The only harmful substance in tea or coffee is caffeine. People think that it is a lot less caffeine, but Diet Coke has 50mg of caffeine and coffee has 70mg. Here is a quote fromTeachings of Presidents of the Church David O. McKay page 103:

"There is a substance in tea and coffee which when taken into the human system, tends to increase the beating of the heart; which in turn increases the rapidity of the circulation of the blood and of breathing. This causes the body to become warmer and more exhilarated. After a time, however, this temporary enlivenment passes off, and the body is really in a greater need of rest and recuperation than it was before the beverage was taken. Stimulants are to the body what the lash is to the lagging horse—it causes a spurt forward but gives no permanent strength or natural nourishment. Frequently repetitions of the lash only make the horse more lazy; and the habitual use of strong drink, tobacco, tea, and coffee, only tends to make the body weaker and more dependent upon the stimulants to which it is addicted. The Lord has said in unmistakable words that these things are not good for man. Science declares the same. God’s word alone should be sufficient for every true Latter-day Saint."

Hmm ... what substance could he be referring to? And here is one from Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph F. Smith, page 323:

"In the mad rush of life for worldly honors and for the possession of the perishable things of this earth men do not stop before they get weary, and they do not rest before they become faint. They appear to think that what is necessary for them when they become weary and faint is to take stimulants to refresh themselves, that they may be able to run a little farther for a few moments. In this way the man of business braces himself up by taking strong drinks. The housewife and the mother who has the care of her family upon her hands, after she has toiled until she has become faint, feels that she must, in order to keep up her strength, take a cup of tea, and thus brace up her nerves and strengthen herself for a little while that she may be able to finish her day’s work. Now, if the pure intelligence of the Spirit of God were substituted for the stimulating influence of the tea and the liquor; if we could by some means get a sufficient portion of the Spirit of the Lord within us that would cause us to know just what to do when we felt weariness and faintness coming upon us, without resorting to the aid of stimulants and drugs that go far to injure our systems and make us slaves, to an acquired appetite, it would be a great deal better for us."

I'm not trying to be self-righteous or anything, and I drink caffeine every once and a while and I eat chocolate which has caffeine in it, but I just see people in my life who drink Diet Coke for breakfast, and it is meant as a pick-me up, exactly like coffee. Or those who giggle about their addition to Diet Coke. I just don't think it is that funny and it really can be harmful for us to need a caffeinated drink.

Bathroom Etiquette

So I am walk into the stall of a public bathroom yesterday and there is a woman talking on her phone in the next stall over. Why people think this is okay is beyond me, what if the person on the other end hears something, you know like ... gross. Then she proceeds to order a hamburger from Hires! She is ordering take-out from the bathroom stall. Disgusting! What is this world coming to, don't people have any manners, or inclination of what is appropriate? p.s. If you don't know what a fat kid is click here.

Cuddling - I Got Tricked!

Cuddling is the one thing that Mike and I disagree on. We dated for over a year before getting married, and we cuddled a lot. Anytime we were watching a movie or if we we on the couch we were cuddling, but now that we are married Mike can barely handle a half hour.

Is it just one of those things, like making-out where as soon as you are married and can do more, its not quite as appealing? Mike is the type of person that doens't like to be confined, even as a kid he would yell STUCK if someone was holding him for too long. So I guess I understand. And maybe he could handle it while we were dating becasue it meant he could be close to me.

I have very vivid dreams and I just had one about cuddling believe it or not. I had a dream that I wasn't married to Mike and that we were still dating, but then he broke up with me. I was really sad, but then I got back together with Rob, who I had dated right before Mike. It was so weird.

So, I was dating Rob again and he had gained some muscle so he wasn't so skinny we were sitting there cuddling and I was really loving it. It was so weird. Then I realized that I just liked the cuddling, not Rob.

Weird.

Fat Kids Need Shiny Fridges

So we needed a new fridge for our house and I have this mentality that we need to spend a little more than we normally would and keep it for 10 years, rather than by a crappy fridge and want to replace it in a few years. If you think about it, it saves you money in the long run.

Luckily I persuaded Mike to buy a nicer fridge using this reasoning, but secretly I think it was because I am a fat kid. Why shouldn't my produce be kept in temperature controlled drawers and my ice cream be in a separate drawer from frozen meat? I think the ice cream deserves that for being so delicious. Don't you? p.s. Please see "Fat Kid" definition in previous post.

Jiminy Cricket!

I love Carol Mikita, and I think she has the coolest job ever, traveling and covering the church, but I couldn't help but laugh when my co-worker said that she looks like Jiminy Cricket.

Stupid Excercise Bike

Mike got an exercise bike for Christmas and we finally decided to put it together. Now you would think that a petal would not be hard to put on, but it was! I was trying to thread the screw that is attached to the petal and I realized it wasn't going on right, so I tried to pull it apart and it came apart so forcefully it hit my lip and cut it! It is really bad, it started bleeding and I have a bruise below my lip and on the inside of it. I would take a picture and post it, but it would be gross. That is what I get for trying to exercise. I think its a sign.