Doughnut Nazi!

So, I'm having a kind of bad day, and I am running from one thing to another and I look down and realize that my gas light is on. With my job I hardly ever have time for lunch, and usually bring a yogurt, apples or cereal from home (don't worry I get made fun of for the cereal, especially when I pour it and the whole office can hear not to mention the wonderful crunching of Oh's, yumm).

But alas, today I had brought no yogurt or apples, or cereal, so as I was filling up my gas I went into the gas station to grab something cause I was STARVING. Bad idea. Basically the choices were a gross soggy chicken salad sandwich, burritos sure to make you sick the rest of the day, and then a hole bunch of junk food.

Just as I am thinking, why in the world did I think I could find any sort of a lunch at a gas station, I see them, glimmering by the check-out counter. That's right, Krispy Kreme doughnuts. But then I thought, I shouldn't get a doughnut, so instead I went over and found a granola bar. But then the doughnuts beckoned once again and I gave in.

Junk food is one thing, but baked goods are quite another. So I go over and as I put down the doughnut to check out, the skinny middle-aged gas station attendant says, "doughnut huh?" in a tone. I reply casually, yeah, couldn't find much else, laughing it off. Then as I put down the granola bar he says, "well, at least you got something healthy."

Are you kidding me? The gas station attendant is giving me crap about getting a doughnut? What is the world coming to? I can get a freaking doughnut if I want to, and I should be able to do it without being judged. The fat kid strikes again. Besides, I'm sure one doughnut is not the worst purchase he has seen that day, does he give attitude to everyone buying junk food. If so it must be a long day. If you don't know what a fat kid is, click here to read a past blog explaining it.

Babies

What is it about our faith that makes people think they should know everything about everyone else's lives? I have been in situations where people completely over-share or ask me about things that are really pretty personal.

I think the worst over-share has to be when Mike's cousin told me that she wanted to nurse longer but that her son's teeth cam in and it started to hurt. Ewww! I know you are just loving the mental picture of that one.

So Mike and I have been married for almost three years and I just have to rant a little about how much people ask us when we are having kids. Our families tease us a little bit, which is fine. But I really can't believe those people who basically ask/tease you while in the line at your wedding! Our home teachers came over the other day and I seriously felt like it was a PPI. They asked us when we were having kids - straight faced, no smiles or teasing. Umm ... that is between me, Mike and the Lord. Then one of the laurels I teach asked me in front of a bunch of people and leaders the other day. At least she was teasing a little.

Seriously, what do people want you to say? If I were trying then it would ruin the announcement when I really was pregnant (which I guess most people do). If we were trying and things weren't working out, that is none of their business. And if that was the case it would make me feel really bad. The other answer is of course, that we are just not ready yet, which is the answer in our case.

I also feel that a lot of people are judging us when they ask how long we have been married and know that we don't have kids yet. They have no idea what could be going on in our lives. I think I get that vibe a lot too because we bought a fairly nice house. I feel like people think we are putting finances before kids.

It isn't finances, it isn't my career, it isn't like we don't know how important it is to start a family, we are just not emotionally ready. I have seen several of my friends who have pushed their husbands into having kids sooner than he wanted and it ended up being a huge stress on their marriage. The husband isn't as involved in the care of the baby as he might have been if he was excited to have a child rather than pushed. In one case the wife promised to do everything with the baby so it wouldn't interfere with the husbands life, if she could have a baby sooner. That isn't the way that I want to have my first kid. I want Mike to be excited.

I also want to be really excited. I feel like I go through week period where I want kids and then don't. If I have spent time with my niece or other cute kids have been around I want kids more. But then when the crying tantrum kids/babies are around I think, how can I be ready for this? I think with my own baby I will love it so much that I won't be as affected by the crying, but still I have times where I get scared.

Bikinis and Modesty

I wanted to comment on a post that I ran across the other day on the topic of weather or not women should be able to wear a bikini on vacation with their husbands. I really think this depends on the situation. On my honeymoon I wore bikinis, but we were also on secluded beaches and in one hotel we even had our own little private pool. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to have a few people see me in a bikini, but I think it was a fun thing for my husband on our honeymoon. I feel that if it is a vacation that is just with your husband at a secluded pool or beach it should be okay. Also if my husband and I ever hot tub alone I wear a bikini. I also lay-out in a fenced yard in a bikini in summer. I think it is a hard line though. Because I want to look tan and sexy for my husband, but not for anyone else. And to those who may feel my husband would love me more if I would wear a tankini and show that I have standards, even when we are alone, are just naive. Why do you think women, even Mormon women buy lingerie? Even if the men in our lives view us as sweet spirits, they also want to view us as their sexy wives too.

On the other hand, on any family vacation or vacation with friends, or when I am boating or swimming with others I don't think it is okay to wear a bikini. I wouldn't want my husband to be looking at other girls in bikinis, or other husbands looking at me. And in some cases it can make you feel bad about yourself if the girl next to you is in a skimpy bikini. I think we as women underestimate how much being immodest influences the men around us.

Random Why's

• Why does the toilet-paper holder in public bathrooms always get stuck and only give you two squares at a time?
• Why do the Cafe Rio employees ask you what you want on your meal like a drill Sargent, don't they know I can't make food decisions that fast?
• Why do I say that I don't need help from a stranger moving a huge box out of my car when I really do?
• Why are the little drape things over windows called window treatments? That sounds so weird.
• Why do people think it's okay to talk on a cell phone in a bathroom stall?
• Why would anyone want their death advertised on a billboard?
• Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?